Everybody Calm Down
I didn't write this... but I thought it would help to untangle the news about the Med Diet. It's from the
Slow Food Website...
The Missing Pieces of The Healthy Mediterranean Diet
Last week, two reports in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) showed the beneficial effects of the Mediterranean diet for the elderly, and for patients with Metabolic Syndrome.
Dr. Will Clower, author of a dietary cultural comparison between France and the U.S., argues that two critical elements have been left out of the equation. The JAMA reports included factors such as moderate alcohol consumption, low red meat intake, daily activity, and lack of smoking.
However, states Clower, "cultural eating habits are critical and were completely absent from either report." Clower stresses that the success of the Mediterranean diet involves not just what people eat but how they eat, a factor often overlooked by US nutritionists.
Two key habits include a slower eating pace at the table, and no between meal snacking. "For physiological reasons," Clower points out, "relaxed eating pace discourages the over-consumption that typifies the American dining experience. This routine leaves people satisfied by the rich foods of the meal,
with no need to snack during the day.
(Editorial note; Whatever. I NEED to snack during the day, like I need air and new converse, and new punk rock bands.)
Clower is confident that even hectic Americans can adapt these healthy habits. Participants in his recent pilot study adapting the Mediterranean diet showed increased fruit and vegetable consumption, decreased snacking, decreased calorie intake, and steady weight loss (even with the addition of chocolate, fresh bread, and cheese).
Who knew you could get drunk on caramel?
I forgot the
BEST part of that party.
I tasted what's quite possibly
the greatest cake in the history of the world. I'm ordering one (or 10, they freeze!) tomorrow.
Other People's China
I finally put my finger on what's been getting under my skin about catering.
I catered a bridal shower Saturday, kind of a last hurrah for me this season. I was in the mood for a sweet party, hoping it was going to be one of those lovely events where you're happy to be on hand. It was a beautiful setup, loads of flowers, delicate hand decorated cakes, place settings with crystal and china, lovely custom made cellophane wrapped wedding cake cookies, all set up in the backyard of a perfect dollhouse Victorian gingerbread. The old ladies arrived first and oohed and ahhed over the details. We worked hard passing crab cakes and artichoke Parmesan puffs, gentile little wispy appetizers, and we kept them hydrated with iced fizz water and sips of champagne. The powdered ladies with their broaches and handbags were sweet and grateful, if they noticed us at all. I don't mind cooing niceties and I don't even mind being ignored. I really love the idea of lending myself to an event to make it seamless. I want to keep it flowing, anticipating next steps and needs, so the conversation and the celebration flow. I was trained (by my dad) within an inch of my life, so I never stack plates at the table, never lean on one leg and if my hands are full, they are behind my back. I do tray service, know which side to serve and which side to remove. I make things happen, which is why catering and production are such close worlds for me.
Anyway, the sweet halcyon haze came to a screeching halt for me when we began to remove the first course and wash and dry the host's lovely china. A woman who I had presumed to be a guest came in to the kitchen and announced that she had been hired by the host to watch the china. My first thought was, "Watch it
what?" And then I realized, she was hired, was placed in the room because the host was convinced, given the opportunity we would steal her lovely china. I was horrified. And then it dawned on me, why catering mean parties for the nouveau riche has been so hard lately. Why the little comments don't roll of my back, why I've bristled at the La Canada size-two ladies...
They think because we're serving them, we want their life.
I wish I could tell you how many times guests have said to me about the host's house, "Don't you wish you lived here..." or "When you're in our position..." My answer is not polite. No, no I don't want your Pottery Barn-creative-less-merchandised house, or your designer-laden-gossiping friends or your martini-swilling husband. I have my own, my own lovely house, my own husband. I have not one, not two, but three sets of china. I do not covet every home I step inside. I have never
once been tempted to stay, or wished I could have attended as a guest a party I catered. What kind of ego assumes because I'm serving them, that I want to
be them, want their things, would go to the length of stealing their things? There's a meanness, a hardness to some people who assume that simply because they have
more, you want to be them.
I think it might be time to retire.
How Not to Ice a Cake
1. Don't do it in a hurry.
2. Don't do it before you've had your morning coffee.
3. Be careful not to smear the icing all over the inside of your arm and then smear that all over the clothes you were planning on wearing to work.
4. When you do notice the icing on the inside of your arm, wash it off quickly. Unless you want to wear it as hair gel, don't try to lick it off, slightly bemused at your own dexterity.
(sigh)
La Canada is Yuppie Hell
Never again.
I'm not catering any more parties in La Canada.
Here's why.
1.
Cheap bastards. No tip above the 15% base, even though the host stood at the door and slobbered over us, saying it was the greatest party she had ever had. She even tried to hug us. Gross.
2. The itty-bitty host called her kids "Cows" in front of us and started screaming that we shouldn't give them any more food. The kids then proceeded to sneak food the rest of the evening. I wanted to say, "Be sure to tell your therapist that she called you a cow."
3. I heard the host say, "She's screwing her trainer..." and "He's got two girlfriends..."
4. The money-clipped, 50-year old, docker wearing husbands are convinced that we, the caterers are there to be flirted with, felt up and/or pressed up against in the crowded kitchen. I wanted to scream, "Dammit, come get your husband out of the kitchen."
5. They all make the same dumb jokes. As the food is brought out, "I slaved all day...." ha. ha. That's the first time we've heard that one.
6. There's always someone who thinks they are being sympathetic with the poor girls who are in the kitchen, "It's so nice to find people who aren't incompetant." Um, hang on while I go write that in my diary.
7. Don't complain about the bill to the chef. Idiot. Complain to the owner of the catering company, complain to your friends. Don't complain to the people who have sweated your party for the last six hours.
I'm over their new-money, no-class, pin-stripped, sorry-art collection, designer-jeans with the tags on-highlighted asses.
Now I can move on. Thank you Internet.
Vroom, Vroom, Insight Into LA Traffic; LA Blogs Questions
1. How many hours a week are you stuck in your car?
At least an hour five days a week, so around 50-60 hours.
2. What music is in your car, right now?
PJ Harvey, Uh Huh Her
A cool mix of
Bollywood Movie Music a friend made me.
A miz of
Liz Phair songs.
The Who
Too Many DJ's, another crazy mix, this one bought in England last summer. Gotta love anything that blends, Dolly Parton and Belly.
3. What do you do while stuck in traffic? Eat? Sing? Primal scream?
Sing
punk rock. Catch up on phone calls that I haven't returned and clean out my purse if I'm stopped for more than two minutes.
4. If you could give citations to other drivers for bad behavior, who/ what
would you ticket?
Having a bumper sticker that advised boycotting the French. Dumbass.
People who don't buckle their kids up should have to bounce around the back of my cousin, Toby's pickup while he drives unpaved country roads.
People who strap their dogs with tiny, little leashes to the back of their toolcase while they drive 80 miles an hour on the freeway. Well, you can guess what I think should happen to those folks.
5. What's your favorite place/freeway to drive in LA?
I love the Sixth Street exit, downtown at night. It's lovely.
6. What's your least favorite?
Anywhere in the valley or near the airport.
7. What's the craziest thing you've ever seen another driver do?
Try to grab golf clubs out of a burning car. (Not technically driving, I know.)
I can't get over the folks who have TV's on their front seats, or the people who let their dogs sit on their laps as they drive.
8. What's the craziest thing you've ever seen left on the side of the road?
A live goat.
Kitchen Playlist
I've go two new toys; an under the kitchen-counter CD player/ radio/ TV tune-in and a cast-off iMac that Andy loaded with fun stuff, music, etc. (Thanks boys!) My current kitchen Playlist includes PJ Harvey,
Uh Huh Her*, The Scissor Sisters and a little bit of Groove Armada, Missy Elliot, The Who, Black Eyed Peas and of course, 104.3's Disco Saturday Night. But I need MORE. What do you listen to slice, dice and saute? Tell me the songs that will keep me moving from the moment I bring the shopping bags in, to the moment the last dish is put away.
*I love this album, but I balked when I saw that PJ thanked Vincent Gallo. Our paths have crossed and it was awful. Seriously, Polly Jean
ditch him quick.
Coercive Eating
There are certain foods that will inspire people to do things they really don't want to do. I myself have been known to cater certain weddings depending on who's making the wedding cake. (If you think the caterers don't sample the cake, think again. And before you get all up in my Kool-Aid, why begrudge cater-waiters a small taste of something sweet after they slave for hours chasing the mess you and your "Celebration" dancing friends make?) I will also drive to my mom's from the farthest corner of the earth for her fried okra. And I know a certain kick-ass editor who will work Sunday shredding his weekend, if and only if I bring croissants from my favorite
bakery. This is what you call
coercive eating.
I want to hear from you. What arm-twisting foods do you make or give in to? What foods speak to you? (Keep it clean, nobody wants to know what dirty old Britney will do for a cupcake.)
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And... Naomi Lewin had another great commentary on NPR this morning on The Miss America Pageant! Check it out here. She was kind enough to email me and suggest this book on pie making.
LA Blog End of Summer Questions
1. What is your favorite beach to cool off on? When do you go to beat the crowds?
Leo Carillo, so my dogs can cool off too.
2. If not the beach, where is your favorite cooling-off spot outdoors? indoors?
In a cool, dark movie theater.
3. Where is your favorite spot for ice cream/sorbet/gelato?
Mashti Malones. Yum.
4. What is your favorite flavor?
Ginger, and saffron.
5. Stuck at home? What are you making in your blender?
Gazpacho, with veggies from the farmer's market around the corner.
6. Got any original concoctions you want to share?
Not original.
7. Favorite winter-themed video or book?
Anything set in England. Brrrr...
8. What was your favorite water-themed activity as a kid?
Water-slide parks. What a great trend.
Pirates and Croissants
You know it's going to be a good weekend, when your Friday drive to work includes perfect Chocolate Croissants from Europane, Elvis Costello on the radio and really strong coffee with cream (they were out of milk, sue me). Driving down Western Blvd. I saw five (barely) teenage girls dressed like pirates, pirate hats, swords and eye patches and a couple of blocks later a gaggle of the usual drag queens. I love LA.
Brownies and Butter
(Baked goods not the girls. Get your mind out of the gutter.)
I'm on a quest for the perfect brownie. I've been studying recipes, everything from Deane and Deluca's to Betty Crocker. I've made several batches in the last couple of weeks. Here's a little comparison study.
Nestle brownies, recipe off the box... 2/3 stick of butter
Hershey's brownies... 1 stick of butter
Martha Stewart Truffle Brownies... 4 tablespoons of unsalted butter
Bon Appetit... 3 tablespoons of unsalted butter
Gourmet... 2 whopping sticks of butter
And another
recipe with a gargantuan 3 sticks of butter
I found that the Nestle and Hershey recipes were only so-so. They didn't have much of a cocoa flavor. They were a little tasteless. I'm going to work my way thru the other recipes, but think I'll stay from the 3 stick recipe. I'm also going to make
these, and
these.
Talking to Room Service in Akron, Ohio
Me: "So, I've got two different menus in my room... which one can I order from?"
Him: "Uh, does one have Chicken Parmesiana on it?"
Me: "Yep."
Him: "Which one?"
Me: "Uh, the one with Chicken Parm on it."
Him: "Oh... Um, does one have pizza?"
Me: "Yep. Can I order pizza? I mean is that the right menu?"
Him: "I don't know. Do you want pizza?"
Me: (pause) "No. I want a burger, and that's on both menus. But there different burgers on each menu. Can I get a burger?"
Him: Laughing uncomfortably, "Sure. What kind of cheese do you want?"
Me: "No cheese, thanks."
Him: "They all come with cheese."
Me: "I don't want cheese."
Him: "You DON'T WANT CHEESE?!"
(He sounded stunned as though I had said, I'm a jihad member
and I don't want cheese.)
Me: "No. I want pie, ok? A burger, no cheese and blueberry pie."
Him: Still shaking his head, I'm sure. "Fine. One burger... without cheese. And pie.It's comes with ice cream."
Me: "No thanks, just pie."
Him: Sighing, as though I were asking him to hand feed me the burger, dressed like Santa, "Whatever."
I came sooooo close to asking who he was going to vote for, as I did almost everyone that I encountered in Ohio, but after that conversation I didn't have the energy.
Postscript: The burger was HUGE, large enough to feed three families. And it came with mayo and ketchup, no mustard. The pie was about as mediocre as you can get with pie. It was like jam filled pie crust, not lots of taste to the berries. And there was ice cream.
